To all you Recusants and Bloody Fingers out there, I’d like nothing more than to shout you down. Call you trolls, griefers, and worse. But I also know you wouldn’t turn up unless I was co-oping with my friends, and parties are always more dramatic when someone crashes. I suppose to the Elden Ring invader’s way of thinking, a big part of the appeal is imagining all the creative strings of swear words and names I’m calling you as you lay waste to me and my crew. But if you care at all about that happening less when you “win”, I’ve got a few suggestions for you. Follow them, and you might earn a little respect from me as either of us despawn to the tune of YOU DIED.

1. Don’t camp out by that mini boss whom you’d like to have kill us.

I can see drawing in a few garden variety monsters to even the playing field — especially if my party is a three-up gank squad — but if you’re hanging out with a troll or Death Knight, we’re just going to end up staring at each other, getting bored.

2. Come find me.

I absolutely cannot stand it when I get an invasion banner only to have to wonder if you got lost. I mean, you’re here to try to end my co-op session and show off your build, right? So get on with it. If not, tap your Finger Severer and move on.

3. If we’re within sight of a fog door, just leave.

Seriously. Just leave.

4. Finish the fight.

I don’t know how common this is, but it seems to be getting worse. If we’ve been clashing to the point where everyone is out of sips, and it’s win-or-lose time, don’t run away. whichever one of us is about to bite it, just let it happen. I’m surprised how often winning invaders will turn tail even as they’re about to pulverize me. Is it trolling? Are you enjoying delaying the inevitable? I will always find the nearest cliff to jump off rather than track you down to give you the last hit. And if I’m about to put an end to you, just take it. Or sever your ass home.

5. Get outta here with the insulting emotes and teabagging.

Bad sportsmanship exists in every kind of competition, but the video game variety is some of the dorkiest. Sure it ticks me off, but at least you also look stupid doing it. Better to wave goodbye or do any of the respectful bowing emotes while my screen fades to black. I’ll do the same for you.

That’s it. Five simple rules for letting this unabashed co-op fan not hate your guts. And hey, if my hatred is part of the appeal of being a Bloody Finger. . . Well? I guess I’ll sign off by telling you it’s a gift to realize where you’ve got potential to be a better person in life. Good luck on your journey.

While you’re here, go call me a casual or share you co-op invasion etiquette down in the comments. We can discuss it in a civilized manner over at the Boss Rush Discord, as well.

Featured Image: Bandai Namco