Boss Rush Banter: Were George Clooney’s Batsuit Nipples Canonically Logical?

With George Clooney’s cameo in The Flash, it’s time to reconsider the batsuit nipples. Widely considered a stain on the costuming legacy of Batman movies, Batman & Robin featured a more comical take, but the presence of nipples could suggest a darker possibility.

^{George Clooney as Batman in 1997’s Batman & Robin
Source: Warner Bros.}

Bruce Wayne designed Batman to take advantage of criminals’ superstitious natures. He aimed to create a monstrous mythos, and a suit that could be mistaken for skin would fit.

Imagine you’re out at night. Gotham’s seedy underbelly leaves few streets lit, and as you make your getaway with some random stolen purse, down comes this blur of cape, spiked protrusions, and sheer darkness. Maybe the eyes appear human. Maybe they’re reflective lenses. Either way the mix of humanoid and non-human stretches with chiseled abs and nipples suggesting that whatever this thing in front of you is, it isn’t clothed aside from the cape.

^{Batman #520 – Cover Art by Kelley Jones
Source: DC Comics}

Quippy movie dialogue aside, I imagine an encounter with Batman as a criminal to be rather short. Even if it isn’t, most portrayals show that he’s a master of lighting. Of course, they’d have to remove the big symbol on his chest and do a few blurry photos à la Bigfoot style if they wanted to explore the mythos perspective, but the point stands.

Do you agree? Would you watch a Batman movie from the perspective of a cryptozoologist? Or is even thinking about nipples on a batsuit a step too far? Let us know in the comments below or head over to our Discord channel to join the conversation.

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